{"id":33161,"date":"2018-06-18T07:45:13","date_gmt":"2018-06-18T11:45:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/socialmediaexplorer.com\/?p=33161"},"modified":"2018-06-18T07:45:13","modified_gmt":"2018-06-18T11:45:13","slug":"you-too-can-be-a-social-media-influencer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/socialmediaexplorer.com\/content-sections\/news-and-noise\/satire\/you-too-can-be-a-social-media-influencer\/","title":{"rendered":"You, Too, Can Be a Social Media Influencer!"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cYou get what you pay for\u201d is an adage older than the Pyramids of Egypt or Windows 8.1. And social media influencers are finding that saying to be truer than ever, when it comes to buying followers. <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The market for faux followers has never been busier than today, when everyone from White House wannabes to Hollywood has-beens boasts of having followers in the hundreds of thousands on Twitter and Facebook. Today a celebrity without a social media following edging towards a million is shunned like a leper. In fact, it\u2019s no longer necessary to have any kind of talent or ability at all to become a social media influencer — all you need are enough followers, and companies will beat your door down to get you to sponsor their product. So how does one obtain enough followers? I thought you\u2019d never ask:<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Be prepared to pay well<\/b><\/p>\n

Avoid organizations that promise a gazillion followers for just a few dollars a month. Otherwise you wind up with names like I.P. Freely and Otto Focus on your list. You should be prepared to spend at least twenty dollars a month so your list will include names like George Washington and Mahatma Gandhi. <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Love me, love my bots!<\/b><\/p>\n

Bots are people, too, you know. So treat those innumerable bots infesting your social media sites with love and compassion by sacrificing a black rooster during the full moon, saving the blood for Andrew Zimmern on the Travel Channel.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Use these keywords in all your social media posts:<\/b><\/p>\n

Kardashian. Trump. Bitcoin. Rutabaga. Nostradamus. Kale. Unilever. Meghan Markle. and Deracinate. You\u2019ll get so many real followers you\u2019ll have to beat them off with a stick. <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cYou get what you pay for\u201d is an adage older than the Pyramids of Egypt…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":226,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7584],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-33161","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-satire"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nYou, Too, Can Be a Social Media Influencer! - Social Media Explorer<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/socialmediaexplorer.com\/content-sections\/news-and-noise\/satire\/you-too-can-be-a-social-media-influencer\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"You, Too, Can Be a Social Media Influencer! - Social Media Explorer\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u201cYou get what you pay for\u201d is an adage older than the Pyramids of Egypt...\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/socialmediaexplorer.com\/content-sections\/news-and-noise\/satire\/you-too-can-be-a-social-media-influencer\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Social Media Explorer\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/socialmediaexplorer\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/socialmediaexplorer\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2018-06-18T11:45:13+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Adam\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@smxplorer\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@smxplorer\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Adam\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/socialmediaexplorer.com\/content-sections\/news-and-noise\/satire\/you-too-can-be-a-social-media-influencer\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/socialmediaexplorer.com\/content-sections\/news-and-noise\/satire\/you-too-can-be-a-social-media-influencer\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Adam\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/sx6ast5b42.wpdns.site\/#\/schema\/person\/532ea00d94484eb306539e1770b2548d\"},\"headline\":\"You, Too, Can Be a Social Media Influencer!\",\"datePublished\":\"2018-06-18T11:45:13+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2018-06-18T11:45:13+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/socialmediaexplorer.com\/content-sections\/news-and-noise\/satire\/you-too-can-be-a-social-media-influencer\/\"},\"wordCount\":295,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/sx6ast5b42.wpdns.site\/#organization\"},\"articleSection\":[\"Satire\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/socialmediaexplorer.com\/content-sections\/news-and-noise\/satire\/you-too-can-be-a-social-media-influencer\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/socialmediaexplorer.com\/content-sections\/news-and-noise\/satire\/you-too-can-be-a-social-media-influencer\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/socialmediaexplorer.com\/content-sections\/news-and-noise\/satire\/you-too-can-be-a-social-media-influencer\/\",\"name\":\"You, Too, Can Be a Social Media Influencer! 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