{"id":33152,"date":"2018-06-15T12:53:20","date_gmt":"2018-06-15T16:53:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/socialmediaexplorer.com\/?p=33152"},"modified":"2018-06-15T12:53:20","modified_gmt":"2018-06-15T16:53:20","slug":"how-to-plan-for-social-media-sales-success","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/socialmediaexplorer.com\/content-sections\/news-and-noise\/satire\/how-to-plan-for-social-media-sales-success\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Plan for Social Media Sales Success"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Social media is more popular than anything on planet Earth except for ketchup packets at McDonald\u2019s. (<\/span><b><i>Those<\/i><\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> babies are everywhere, man!) So naturally advertisers and marketers want to exploit this popularity, flooding sites like Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram with so many digital ads that the only original content left is usually an emoticon. <\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But social media marketers often go about advertising the wrong way, missing important niche markets and even driving away consumers. Here are several tips that will drive sales like mayonnaise on gelatin:<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><b>Make your brand name memorable<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is done with adjectives and superlatives, for example: \u00a0\u201cAged Ice Cubes\u201d or \u201cOverpriced Hamburgers R Us.\u201d Then make sure the same \u2018handle\u2019 is used on all social media platforms &#8212; so that the name \u201cBob\u2019s Puny Plumbing Supply\u201d is used consistently on everything from LinkedIn to Snapchat. That way consumers won\u2019t get confused and wander off into the woods looking for James Comey instead of making an online purchase.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><b>Use real testimonials<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">By \u2018real\u2019 is meant stuff that nobody can trace back to anyone. And by \u2018testimonials\u2019 is meant so much treacle that the reader is in danger of coming down with diabetes. And by \u2018use\u2019 is meant \u2018apply\u2019 or \u2018employ\u2019 or \u2018exploit\u2019 or \u2018utilize\u2019 or \u201ca large civet cat native to Andalusia.\u2019 <\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><b>Know your target audience<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Are they tall or short or skinny or fat or old or young? Do they scratch their arms during football games or cut up their spaghetti instead of twirling it onto a fork? And are they in this country illegally? If so, be sure to rat them out for the bounty.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Social media is more popular than anything on planet Earth except for ketchup packets at&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":226,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7584],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-33152","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-satire"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Plan for Social Media Sales Success - Social Media Explorer<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/socialmediaexplorer.com\/content-sections\/news-and-noise\/satire\/how-to-plan-for-social-media-sales-success\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to Plan for Social Media Sales Success - 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