{"id":33118,"date":"2018-06-06T15:37:17","date_gmt":"2018-06-06T19:37:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/socialmediaexplorer.com\/?p=33118"},"modified":"2018-06-06T15:42:02","modified_gmt":"2018-06-06T19:42:02","slug":"religions-of-the-world-continue-to-abandon-social-media","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/socialmediaexplorer.com\/content-sections\/news-and-noise\/satire\/religions-of-the-world-continue-to-abandon-social-media\/","title":{"rendered":"Religions of the World Continue to Abandon Social Media"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In response to the growing media frenzy over President Russell M. Nelson\u2019s plea to the youth of the LDS Church to forgo all social media contact for one full week, Pope Francis of the Catholic Church has announced that all lay members will now be asked to give up social media every Friday.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cWe used to do that with meat, y\u2019know\u201d the Pontiff told reporters at the Vatican this week. \u201cEverybody ate fish sticks on Friday. But now we are asking our beloved members to please abstain from all social media every Friday. They can read a book instead, or go to the movies, or watch television. I think the LDS Church is moving in the right direction with a one week hiatus for their young people, but we in the Catholic Faith go by the age old credo of <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u2018<\/span><\/i><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">nihil potestis facere non possumus facere melius<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.\u2019\u201d \u00a0(Anything they can do we can do better.)<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Just hours after the Pope\u2019s announcement the International Islamic Council held a press conference at their headquarters in Bayonne, New Jersey, to announce that from now on the month-long Ramadan fast for faithful members would be a social media fast, not a food and drink fast. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cEverything is in the Koran already &#8212; who needs social media anyways?\u201d said Ibrahim Suleiman Schwartz, a bystander with an interesting beard. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And not to be outdone, the B\u2019nai B\u2019rith issued a statement today saying that social media is no longer considered Kosher, and should be eschewed by all practicing members. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Meanwhile, the League of Militant Atheists have proclaimed their intention to immediately take over the entire social media spectrum, now that the religions of the world are abandoning it. League president Boris Badanov told reporters in Moscow: \u201cHoo boy, we in da hot seat now, right Natasha?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p>#Satire<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In response to the growing media frenzy over President Russell M. Nelson\u2019s plea to the&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":226,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7584],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-33118","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-satire"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Religions of the World Continue to Abandon Social Media - Social Media Explorer<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/socialmediaexplorer.com\/content-sections\/news-and-noise\/satire\/religions-of-the-world-continue-to-abandon-social-media\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Religions of the World Continue to Abandon Social Media - Social Media Explorer\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"In response to the growing media frenzy over President Russell M. 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